Go forth and be awesome...

When I was pregnant with Max I didn't have any sort of preference of what gender I wanted the baby to be.  At all.  I never felt a pull either way. I instinctively knew he was a boy...so when we found out through ultrasound that he was in fact a boy, I wasn't at all surprised or elated over the gender news.  I really just wanted a healthy baby and the rest was just details.

Maxwell Rocket and me.

 

 Max was 3 when I got pregnant with Lula and everyone assumed that I wanted a girl because, you know, " You already have a boy...so...."
Again, I never felt a pull either way.  I was elated to be pregnant. Period.   I was in the boy zone and loving it, so having all boys would have been totally great with me.  I never fantasized about having a little girl, a little mini me, a princess, a girlie girl.  But I wasn't AT ALL opposed to the idea, either.  I mean, Girls are cool.  Boys are cool.  Babies are babies and there's no difference in raising them, right?   Then we found out  through ultrasound we were having a girl.  I was stoked that the baby was perfect and healthy.  I thought, "Ok.  Cool.  A girl.  Now we can plan for a girl." It would have been rad news either way. 

Then I started thinking and processing that we were having a girl.  A GIRL.   I started thinking about tutus and pink chucks and hair bows and OHMYGAWDHOWCUTEISTHAT???  Stoked set in.  Hard.

Luciana Tallulah Belle and me.

 

 

 

Then I started to worry about things like, " I hope she's strong. I hope she's smart,  I hope she's beautiful, I hope she's confident, I hope she doesn't have body image issues, I hope she's self assured"...and on and on and on infinity. Suddenly, having a girl seemed scary and complicated. How was I going to manage to NOT screw this up?? I didn't want to put my issues on her. I just wanted her to be......I don't know...whoever SHE is.

                                                               Girliest girl ever! 

Why did I have all these concerns with Lula and not Max?  With Max I  just thought..."you're awesome...so go forth and be awesome" Why didn't I have the same concerns with him?  Shouldn't I worry that he be beautiful, smart, confident and strong?  Did I just assume he would be?  Yea.  I think I did.  (And he is..)  If I have that peace that he would just "be awesome" could I find that peace for her too?

Now Lula is here, she's only 8 months old and we are still getting to know her, but she IS beautiful confident, smart and strong.  Good lord she is strong.   She has a will of steel and a temper to match.  She's amazing.  We are all completely in love with her. obviously. 

I mean...look at that face!!   I melt.

That's my plan for how to deal with all the other concerns I had.  We're just going to love her (and her brother).  I think it mostly IS the same for boys and girls.  They're not going to be perfect.  They're going to test us.  They're going to make us crazy.  They're going to stumble and we are just going to love them.  That's where my plan ends.  Just love them.  Make sure they know they are loved.  Love them until they can handle no more love.  Love them into submission.  Love the sense into them. Love the heck out of them.  
While I'm still totally in the Boy Zone, and I'm still completely over the moon for tutus and Chucks,  My strategy for raising them each is the same.  When they wipe off my kisses I tell them, "I don't care.  It already went straight to your heart. You can wipe my love off your face, but it's inside you for always. Deal with it.  Now go forth and be awesome."