Go forth and be awesome...

When I was pregnant with Max I didn't have any sort of preference of what gender I wanted the baby to be.  At all.  I never felt a pull either way. I instinctively knew he was a boy...so when we found out through ultrasound that he was in fact a boy, I wasn't at all surprised or elated over the gender news.  I really just wanted a healthy baby and the rest was just details.

Maxwell Rocket and me.

 

 Max was 3 when I got pregnant with Lula and everyone assumed that I wanted a girl because, you know, " You already have a boy...so...."
Again, I never felt a pull either way.  I was elated to be pregnant. Period.   I was in the boy zone and loving it, so having all boys would have been totally great with me.  I never fantasized about having a little girl, a little mini me, a princess, a girlie girl.  But I wasn't AT ALL opposed to the idea, either.  I mean, Girls are cool.  Boys are cool.  Babies are babies and there's no difference in raising them, right?   Then we found out  through ultrasound we were having a girl.  I was stoked that the baby was perfect and healthy.  I thought, "Ok.  Cool.  A girl.  Now we can plan for a girl." It would have been rad news either way. 

Then I started thinking and processing that we were having a girl.  A GIRL.   I started thinking about tutus and pink chucks and hair bows and OHMYGAWDHOWCUTEISTHAT???  Stoked set in.  Hard.

Luciana Tallulah Belle and me.

 

 

 

Then I started to worry about things like, " I hope she's strong. I hope she's smart,  I hope she's beautiful, I hope she's confident, I hope she doesn't have body image issues, I hope she's self assured"...and on and on and on infinity. Suddenly, having a girl seemed scary and complicated. How was I going to manage to NOT screw this up?? I didn't want to put my issues on her. I just wanted her to be......I don't know...whoever SHE is.

                                                               Girliest girl ever! 

Why did I have all these concerns with Lula and not Max?  With Max I  just thought..."you're awesome...so go forth and be awesome" Why didn't I have the same concerns with him?  Shouldn't I worry that he be beautiful, smart, confident and strong?  Did I just assume he would be?  Yea.  I think I did.  (And he is..)  If I have that peace that he would just "be awesome" could I find that peace for her too?

Now Lula is here, she's only 8 months old and we are still getting to know her, but she IS beautiful confident, smart and strong.  Good lord she is strong.   She has a will of steel and a temper to match.  She's amazing.  We are all completely in love with her. obviously. 

I mean...look at that face!!   I melt.

That's my plan for how to deal with all the other concerns I had.  We're just going to love her (and her brother).  I think it mostly IS the same for boys and girls.  They're not going to be perfect.  They're going to test us.  They're going to make us crazy.  They're going to stumble and we are just going to love them.  That's where my plan ends.  Just love them.  Make sure they know they are loved.  Love them until they can handle no more love.  Love them into submission.  Love the sense into them. Love the heck out of them.  
While I'm still totally in the Boy Zone, and I'm still completely over the moon for tutus and Chucks,  My strategy for raising them each is the same.  When they wipe off my kisses I tell them, "I don't care.  It already went straight to your heart. You can wipe my love off your face, but it's inside you for always. Deal with it.  Now go forth and be awesome."

Saturday night we went on a date.  A proper, let's get a babysitter, get dolled up and go out just the two of us DATE.  A little adult time.  Time to reconnect.  I don't mean  bow chicka bow wow sexy time....just a chance to be together and not have to worry about tiny humans pulling on you every 30 seconds.

                                            


So out we go, just the two of us.  We talk about life, music, whatever. We don't care.  It's just amazing to be able to talk without being interrupted 1000 times until you don't even care to finish your thought.

                                                                   My handsome date
                                                               





 It's nice to feel like a couple again.  To feel pretty for a little while, because I look like a straight up homeless person when I'm home with the kids.  Is that bananna smeared on my shirt?  Or is that boogers?  Did someone seriously wipe their nose on me? 

It's amazing to laugh and talk and just...be.

It's amazing to have people that you trust to watch your children. 

It's amazing to come home to this...

and this....

I feel like a lucky girl.

I am wonderful...

"Please don't climb on the furniture.
Get down please.
THAT is NOT how a gentleman acts.  Get DOWN.
MAX!!! PLEASE stop jumping, climbing, tumbling, rolling, bouncing, walking and flipping on the furniture!  Why do I have to ask you 10 times to do the same thing???!!!!???"

"I'm a wonderful boy."

Sigh.

As aggravated as I want to be in that moment, I had to smile. This kid is on to something there.  Even if you are screwing up, or if people around you aren't 100% pleased with your behavior, You are still an awesome human. No one is perfect, but it doesn't change the fact that we are worth loving and appreciating.

 It's so hard to go through life and not get a little beaten down and your spirit broken by all the bumps along the way. 

At the end of the day I'll think about conversations I've had with people and think, "Oh..I should have said that differently, or UUUUGH. I wish I hadn't said that at all."  I mean...I do this ALL THE TIME.  I lay awake at night and cringe at the things I've said and done and hope they don't think worse of me. Or less of me.   At no point does the thought " I'm a wonderful girl" cross my mind. 
It's almost like the negative thoughts and insecurities are more easily accepted and believable to me.  What IS that??? Why???  Do we, as adults,  prefer the insecurities rolling around our head 24 hours a day?  Of course not!  What kind of lunatic would?

I know that I'm not judging others nearly as harshly as I judge myself.  It seems silly to think that others are dissecting my every word and action. Who has time for that?


So here's the take away, folks.....are you ready??  Let's all just lighten up on ourselves. Let's cut ourselves a break. Let's strive for improvement but be a little kind to ourselves in the process, because, you know what?  There are tiny eyes and ears on us at all times.  If I'm constantly cutting myself down, am I not teaching my children to do the same to themselves?  I mean....If they are part of me, and I find myself so displeasing, won't they assume they too are displeasing?  Not on my watch, friends.

"Yes. You are a wonderful boy. The most wonderful boy. So please get your wonderful behind off my furniture."

Random Acts of Cookies...

Back in October we heard a knock at the door and when we opened it, there was no one there.  On our porch sat a lovely bucket filled with Halloween fun. Stickers, coloring pages, just random stuff. This made my child's entire life. He's talked about "The time we were Boo-ed" for ages.  It wasn't the contents of the bucket, but just the fact that someone thought of us and surprised us and oh my god how awesome was that?  The tradition is to Boo 2 more people, but how could we stop at 2?  I think we boo-ed 4 or 5 houses.  It was so exciting to make other people as happy as it made us when we were the ones being surprised. 
This got me thinking.  Why do we have to wait until Halloween to spread the love and surprise people?
So the other night we made a batch of cookies, packaged them up, wrote a little note about how we appreciate your general awesomeness...and we went Cookie Bombing!! I've decided to do this once a week. Everyone needs a little reminder that they are appreciated, and what better way than to drop off some fresh baked cookies at their door?  Plus...nobody likes a ding dong dash more than my kid....sneaky is his forte.

Inspector #9 making sure the quality is up to par.

I think it's fun to make other people happy.  I think its amazing to see my kid find joy in making other people happy.  I think we live in a time when we focus on only what's going on in our own homes and tend to get wrapped up in our own day to day.  Every now and then it's great to let people know they are appreciated and that other people notice how great they are, or what a great job they did, or just..I like you.

                                                     COOKIE BOMB!!!!  Yes! I love it! 


*If you received a phantom cookie package this week, it was NOT us.  I have no idea what you're talking about.

Too much pressure...This pressure got to stop...

I think my kids are brilliant.  Obviously...I mean, everyone thinks their kids are brilliant, right?  I get asked questions like, "Oh! Is Lula crawling yet?" Umm...no. She sits on the floor and screams and then gets kisses, though.  She's just busy being generally adorable right now. That's pretty brilliant in my book.  I know she'll crawl. At some point. Max did.  I don't remember when, I never kept track of that stuff.

 So. Stinkin. Cute.

 

It continues as they get older.  I get asked if Max is reading yet. He's four. No, we're not reading yet. I suspect he's recognizing words here and there, but no, he's not yet conjugating his verbs in Latin. (you can't see me, but I'm rolling my eyes right now) I know Max will read. I don't know when. I don't really want to push the issue. I want him to have a love for reading, rather than have the ability to read 6 months sooner and be totaly frustrated with it. I want him to think learning is fun. "Lets read about the respiratory system, then we can read about superman's superpowers" He'll say. It's all interesting and fun to him. Why should that end?
I'm not saying our kids shouldn't be challenged, but Jeese Louise, can we all just relax, take a beat and let them be kids for 5 minutes before making them prove themselves?
 What's the rush you guys?  Why do our kids have to grow up by next Tuesday? 
We unschool Max, which means we play it fast and loose. We let Max decide what he is interested in learning about. He's  interested in human anatomy, the solar system, volcanoes and superheroes right now. We go to the library and take out tons of books on the topics he's interested in every week and we read read read and talk about it and do projects and look for videos on the subjects.

Reading up on anatomy....As you do when you're 4.

 

We just live our lives and surround ourselves with the topics that interest us.  I'll take out books that he's not yet interested in, but I think he may be. We read them. Sometimes it opens a new door, sometimes not. It's cool either way.  We play with Legos and cars and go to the park and hang out with other kids and have fun. We have FUN.  Because they're kids and kids are supposed to have fun!

We wear costumes just for fun and climb everything in sight. Just to see if we can.  (we usually can)

There is so much pressure for our kids to hit this mark, this milestone. What for? I just don't get it.  I would hear from other parents things like, "My little Rodney was potty trained at 8 months old.  I would just hold him over the toilet every 20 minutes and eventually he would go."  "Oh wow. That's incredible." I would say.  What I meant is "Oh wow.  That's insane. "  I mean, it's cool, if that's what you want to do....but I would rather use that time to play with my kid. Or cuddle. Or do pretty much anything but that.  What's the goal there?  At 8 months the kid can't GET to the bathroom by themselves, so it's not saving you any time, trouble or effort. If the kid doesn't make it, do they feel bad about that? Like they failed? At 8 months old?? Is the goal just to tell people that your kid is ahead of the curve? It just feels too complicated to me. Max was eventually potty trained and I don't remember when it happened. It doesn't really matter.  I knew he would get there. And he felt awesome when he did.
I'm not judging other parents for the way they want to do things.  I just have to check myself every now and then when I feel myself get wrapped up in it, or giving it too much thought, or comparing my kids to other peoples kids. I have to remind myself to stay in the moment and stay in sync with my little ones. "don't look left or right.  Look only at what's in front of you" I tell myself.  I know other people think the way we do things is crazy, or off beat because we get TONS of unsolicited advice about our kids. I know they mean well and it's out of love, but I know what's working for our kids. Am I an expert on early childhood development? No. Absolutely not.  I'm full of shit most of the time. I'm just a mom who's running on instinct. Who wants the best for her kids and wants them to be happy, confident and well adjusted. Like every other mom, I guess.  Whatever.  I have pillow fortresses to build.

Happy Meal. For real.

"Max, Are you hungry for lunch yet? "   "Yes!!  I want a Happy Meal! A cheeseburger Happy Meal, actually."
Well, kid.  You're out of luck.  There is no freaking way I'm feeding you that.  Of course I don't say this to him, I say, "Sure...coming right up!"

I get out the TVP (Texturized Vegitable Protein)
Mix it with some hot water, onion, garlic, bread crumbs and an egg.
Fry it up in my good old cast iron frying pan...

and add something fun, like tattoos or stickers, mini bubbles or some trinket from the dollar store.

                                                                Tattoos are always a win.

And you have one happy kid eating his healthy lunch, a happy mom, and everyone wins. 

                                                                Even Lula likes it!



Fool 'em with trickery, folks. 

Celery Bean Soup.

It's a grey dreary New England day. The boys are watching soccer..Liverpool/ Man U I think. Lula is napping and I do believe I will make a nice pot of soup. (My mom would always say that.." Let's have a NICE salad, shall we?" " Let's make a NICE snack."  as opposed to a terrible one, I guess.  HA!)
Anyway, It feels like a good day for some comfort food.

 My Nonni would make this soup and it was always a huge crowd pleaser. She was protective of her recipes, though,  and if you asked her for a copy she would never say no....she would just give you a bogus one with some crazy curve ball ingredients thrown in.  Or she would suddenly forget how to speak English. That was my favorite passive aggressive move.  I wish I could utilize it.   So after many tries and weeding out the superfluous ingredients we now know the hilariously simple recipe.  An evil genius, that Nonni.

                  So beautiful.  I love this photo of Nonni. I think I'll keep in the kitchen from now on.



Celery Bean Soup


Cover the bottom of the pot with olive oil
saute about 2 tbsp minced garlic
1/2 small minced onion
about 4 stalks chopped celery
and 2 c Navy beans
2 quarts water

Simmer for a while
Salt and pepper to taste
Sprinkle with Pecorino Romano cheese ( or nutritional yeast for a vegan spin)

Saute the garlic, onion and celery.

 

 

                                                                         Yum.



Are you kidding me?  That's it???  Yup, but when you make it, don't tell anyone how easy it is, they always think you slaved over it.  I like to keep up the illusion.  Just like Nonni.

Imagination and time

Yesterday we made a paper parking lot with numbered spaces for Max park his matchbox cars. This has been so much fun for the little man and is great practice for number recognition. I'll say, "Park the green sports car in space #17" and Max has to find the number 17.  It's not my most brilliant idea, but it's kept him busy.

 

 

 

 

He couldn't wait to show Kevin when he got home.

 

 

Max liked explaining how it all works.  It's very serious business, you know.

 

 

This morning Max said, "I'm very happy to have a rescue parking lot for all my rescue vehicles."

It's nice to dial it back every now and then and keep it simple.  Kids really don't need a bunch of complicated and expensive toys to keep them busy.  I have to remind myself of that more often.  What he really wants is something to spark his imagination and time with us.   

Hmm. Imagination and time.

I'm going to focus on that for the weekend.

How about you guys?  What super simple ideas or activities do you do with your kids? 

Play Dough craftiness

I am really not a fan of Play Dough. It stresses me out, the mess of the little crumbs getting smooshed into the carpet. I hate it when the colors get mixed up. I feel guilty throwing it out when it gets gross, it's all very irritating (read: anxiety inducing) to me.

                            Omg you guys.  Are you kidding me?  I didn't even stage this. Uuugh I can't.



 Max loves to make the solar system and smash it on to our sliding glass door then when everything is in it's perfect place, he makes comets and asteroids and whips them at the solar system and the next thing I know there are Play Dough bits flying everywhere.  I hate it.  I probably have a mild case of OCD and I for sure have control issues. Play Dough does nothing to help my case. That being said, the kid loves it so I try to suck it up. I let Max play with it whenever he wants...which in the New England winter, is often. I'm left with a dried up mess and a waste of money. So I started thinking. Can't I make this stuff?  It would make my life a little easier if I could just whip up a quick batch and not feel guilty about throwing it away when he's done destroying the universe.

So I came up with this modified salt dough recipe...


2 c. flour
2 c. water
1 c salt
2 tbsp veg oil (+ a little more while kneading)

I threw everything in a pot and heated it up while stirring it.  In about a minute and a half I had just about the right consistency.  I divided the batch and started kneading in the color.  The dough was a little sticky, so I just put some oil on my hands as I kneaded and that did the trick. 

                                       My little assistant and his cohort in mischief peeking in the                                                      background.  Hahaha! She cracks me up.

This came together so fast I didn't get any pictures of the process. 

Max is deciding if the colors are vibrant enough for him.  He said it passed his inspection.  Whew!  I was nervous for a sec. 

 

 

 

The finished product. 

 

 

This was seriously fast and easy to pull together. 

 I'm psyched about the results and I think Little Dude is too.  He's busy pelting it at the glass door as I type.

Banana Bread Super Food!

 Kevin, look away.  You don't want to read this. 

My family loves banana bread like nobody's business.  I mean, they reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaally like it.  I've somehow convinced them that it's a super special treat and if everyone behaves and I'm pleased, I'll reward them with it.  But only if I'm really feeling the love.  The joke of it all is that it's the easiest thing to throw together and super healthy.  I'm thrilled that they're eating it, but if I tell them that, they probably won't want it anymore.  So here is my top secret recipe.  Enjoy!

3 bananas
2/3 c. honey
1/3 c brown sugar
1/2 c mayo  ( I know, sounds gross, but trust me here)
1/4 c water
1/4 c ground flax seeds
1 1/2 c. flour
1 tbsp baking powder
3/4 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt

Mix flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt in a small bowl and set aside for a minute.

In mixer blend bananas, honey, brown sugar, flax seed, mayo and water.  Blend flour mixture in with banana mixture until well blended into a lovely batter.

Flour the loaf pan, bake on 350 for 1 hour

                                                 My little chef preparing the flour mixture.

Banana mixture doing it's thing in my awesome KitchenAide I got for Christmas!

Thanks Kev! (although you shouldn't be reading this post)

                                                                 Ready to bake.  350 for 1 hour

Good lord, the house smells amazing.

 

And done! 

If you really want to be sneaky tricky, you can add chocolate or carob chips, or even drizzle melted chocolate on top.   This also makes the most delicious french toast....if it lasts that long.

Magic and Candy

I'm not much of a morning person. I'm not chatty and I don't like to be chirped at.  Uuuugh.  Where's my coffee? Why does it have to be so abrupt? Can't we just ease into this thing?  Nope. Not when you have kids. 

I hear his little footsteps in the hall coming towards me.  Even his steps are cheerful. 
"Good Morning Yaya!!
" Good morning, Max! I'm happy to see you!!!"  I say it every morning, and you know what?  I mean it.

My mood changes immediately.

Come here and let me look at your face, I tell him as he climbs onto my lap. I brush his hair back with my hand and inspect his face carefully." Ahh haa.  Yup.  Just as I thought."  He smiles, he knows what's coming next. "You are more beautiful today than you were yesterday, and I'm not sure how that happened because yesterday you were the most beautiful boy in the world."

"Oh! Someone is awake, you better go get her" he tells me, looking forward to greeting her too.

Lula is happy to see me but mildly irritated that I'm not holding her yet.  She's like me, she needs to ease into it, this whole morning thing.

There it is!!  Sweet morning cuddles.  It's like magic and candy.

 

He's calling her from the living room and she's peeking around corners to find him. They love eachother like, WHOA!

 

Oh! Hi Little! ( his nick name for her nick name, Little Mama) I didn't expect to see YOU! 

Yes you totally did. We all did.  We expect to see eachother and repeat this whole scene every day for ever and ever Amen. The thing is, I'm on borrowed time.  They're bigger every day and they'll grow up and move out and get married (or not) and have kids (or not) but they'll move on.  I want to hit the pause button so I can memorize every freckle, grin and boogery face. I want them to know that every time they walk in the room, I really am happy to see them.  I could sleep for 15 minutes more, but then I'd miss this. And some day, I'll want just 15 minutes more of that sweet time when they were babies.

 

 "It's OUR day, Yaya!!"  "Yup, little dude, it sure is. "  Really, it's just Tuesday.  Just a regular old Tuesday. But it's OUR Tuesday.   Magic and candy, I tell ya.  Magic and candy.

Baby belly blues

Every day it's a struggle to get dressed.  Not because of some depressive mood, but because I'm just not stoked on how I look these days. I put something on and stand in front of the mirror and pull at this and tug at that and shift and suck in and accessorize.

 Sigh.  Lula is crying again.  Good enough, let's just get on with it.  I resolve my self to the fact that it's as good as it's going to get for the day and if I just put on some lipstick I'll feel MUCH better.  By the end of the day I look like The Joker and It's a pretty good gauge for others to assess my mood.
The other day Max asked my why my belly was "like that".   "Well, Max.  umm.  Sometimes when you grow enormous babies in your belly, it takes a while for it to go back to normal, and ummm, I wish it was flat, and I'm not really happy with how it looks..."


 "Well I like it. I think it looks great, it's soft and makes a great place to cuddle." 
This stopped me dead in my tracks.  yea.  I mean.....YEA!!! The kid was right!!! I am soft and a great place for my kids to find comfort. My body has done amazing things.  It's made Humans.  Plural! And the food to nourish them!!! It's kind of like my super power.  My body is strong, tough and resilient and a great place to find cuddles. I'm healthy and active.  It's taken me on amazing journeys and it's time for me to cut it some slack.  I'm not perfect, but I'm a work in progress.  Heck yea, Max! You are totally right!!   It's incredibly humbling when your kids teach you the best lessons. How about you guys?  Have you struggled with body image since having children?  How have you maintained a sense of your pre-baby self?

Gimme some Sugar

Max is seriously sensitive to sugar.  I mean....SERIOUSLY. I would almost call it an allergy.  He goes into this frenzy and it's impossible to get through to him.  His behavior is completely off the wall and he's usually a really sweet agreeable kid. I've been trying really hard lately to control it with diet...which has been great. We've cut out just about all sugar, all processed foods, preservatives and food dyes.  Yesterday was a really bad day in my house and he was absolutely bonkers.  As it turns out he got into a sleeve of Oreo cookies that his dad had stashed (I'm shaking my fist of futility). Oy to the vey it was rough. Today, like a true addict, the kid woke up talking about cookies.  In my effort to fool him with trickery and replace off limits foods with healthy alternatives, I came up with this recipe.  Oh my lord, it's awesome. (If I do say so myself)  Enjoy!

Oatmeal Cookies of Awesomeness  (A working title)

3/4 c whole wheat flour
3/4 teaspoon salt
2 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp ( or more) cinnamon
3/4 c. butter
1/2 c brown sugar
1/2 c. Honey
1 egg
3 c uncooked oats
1c. rasins and or craisins
1/4 c sunflower seeds
!/4 c ground flax seeds

Beat sugar, honey, egg, vanilla, cinnamon, butter until creamy.
Add flour, salt,  baking soda, flax, sunflower seeds, raisins, oats and mix with a spoon.

As I dropped them on the cookie shet, I pressed a sprinkle of candy covered sunflower seeds onto the top.

Bake 10 minutes on 350

Little man LOOOVED them!  Try 'em.  Let me know what you think!


As an added bonus, we finished the can of oats.  We  lined the inside of the can with white paper, put a few drops of different colored paint on the lid and dropped in 3 marbles.  Max  kicked the can around the house for a while and  when he got tired of that, we opened it to see what beautiful art he's made.