Too much pressure...This pressure got to stop...

I think my kids are brilliant.  Obviously...I mean, everyone thinks their kids are brilliant, right?  I get asked questions like, "Oh! Is Lula crawling yet?" Umm...no. She sits on the floor and screams and then gets kisses, though.  She's just busy being generally adorable right now. That's pretty brilliant in my book.  I know she'll crawl. At some point. Max did.  I don't remember when, I never kept track of that stuff.

 So. Stinkin. Cute.

 

It continues as they get older.  I get asked if Max is reading yet. He's four. No, we're not reading yet. I suspect he's recognizing words here and there, but no, he's not yet conjugating his verbs in Latin. (you can't see me, but I'm rolling my eyes right now) I know Max will read. I don't know when. I don't really want to push the issue. I want him to have a love for reading, rather than have the ability to read 6 months sooner and be totaly frustrated with it. I want him to think learning is fun. "Lets read about the respiratory system, then we can read about superman's superpowers" He'll say. It's all interesting and fun to him. Why should that end?
I'm not saying our kids shouldn't be challenged, but Jeese Louise, can we all just relax, take a beat and let them be kids for 5 minutes before making them prove themselves?
 What's the rush you guys?  Why do our kids have to grow up by next Tuesday? 
We unschool Max, which means we play it fast and loose. We let Max decide what he is interested in learning about. He's  interested in human anatomy, the solar system, volcanoes and superheroes right now. We go to the library and take out tons of books on the topics he's interested in every week and we read read read and talk about it and do projects and look for videos on the subjects.

Reading up on anatomy....As you do when you're 4.

 

We just live our lives and surround ourselves with the topics that interest us.  I'll take out books that he's not yet interested in, but I think he may be. We read them. Sometimes it opens a new door, sometimes not. It's cool either way.  We play with Legos and cars and go to the park and hang out with other kids and have fun. We have FUN.  Because they're kids and kids are supposed to have fun!

We wear costumes just for fun and climb everything in sight. Just to see if we can.  (we usually can)

There is so much pressure for our kids to hit this mark, this milestone. What for? I just don't get it.  I would hear from other parents things like, "My little Rodney was potty trained at 8 months old.  I would just hold him over the toilet every 20 minutes and eventually he would go."  "Oh wow. That's incredible." I would say.  What I meant is "Oh wow.  That's insane. "  I mean, it's cool, if that's what you want to do....but I would rather use that time to play with my kid. Or cuddle. Or do pretty much anything but that.  What's the goal there?  At 8 months the kid can't GET to the bathroom by themselves, so it's not saving you any time, trouble or effort. If the kid doesn't make it, do they feel bad about that? Like they failed? At 8 months old?? Is the goal just to tell people that your kid is ahead of the curve? It just feels too complicated to me. Max was eventually potty trained and I don't remember when it happened. It doesn't really matter.  I knew he would get there. And he felt awesome when he did.
I'm not judging other parents for the way they want to do things.  I just have to check myself every now and then when I feel myself get wrapped up in it, or giving it too much thought, or comparing my kids to other peoples kids. I have to remind myself to stay in the moment and stay in sync with my little ones. "don't look left or right.  Look only at what's in front of you" I tell myself.  I know other people think the way we do things is crazy, or off beat because we get TONS of unsolicited advice about our kids. I know they mean well and it's out of love, but I know what's working for our kids. Am I an expert on early childhood development? No. Absolutely not.  I'm full of shit most of the time. I'm just a mom who's running on instinct. Who wants the best for her kids and wants them to be happy, confident and well adjusted. Like every other mom, I guess.  Whatever.  I have pillow fortresses to build.