Freakin Out

We've been going through a stage in my house.  I don't want to name names....but a certain BOY is having some very big feelings as of late. Feelings and opinions he feels with every single fiber of his being.

My rational mind knows that this is completely age appropriate and normal. It would actually be concerning if he weren't forming his own (very strong) opinions and screaming them in a rage directly at my face. All day. I totally get this and I feel terrible for him. It's not fun to be upset, and he's clearly upset. Clearly. Upset.

 But that being said....patience is a finite resource and there are times that I lose my patience.   Sometimes (hypothetically speaking)  this happens in public (on the regular) and I can feel the judging eyes of other parents on me, burning holes in to the back of my head.  I want to turn on my heels and tell them to F*ck off, but I'm with my children and probably around a ton of other peoples kids and punching a stranger in the throat won't stop my kid from demonstrating the behavior that brought me to this place to begin with.

 So I  do what many parents do during a very epic public meltdown. I smile and apologize and sweat profusely through my clothes while trying to scurry my kids to a calmer and quieter place while they are screaming "NO!" to every. Single. Everything.  But oh wow, the looks. The looks and the shame and the tears that inevitably come though you're smiling because, what else is there to do? We find a place where we can just sit for a minute and hug, because chances are...that's what he needs.  A hug.  Then, when he's calm we solve his problem because "There is NO problem we can't solve if we work together"

A few nights ago Max worked very hard to organize his play kitchen. And all Lula wanted to do was play with everything he touched. It was sweet. She just wanted to be with and play with her brother.  I thought his head was going to explode because, " I WORKED SO HARD TO ORGANIZE AND CLEAN!!!!!!!!!!!"  And he trashed and screamed.

 "Oh emm geee, little man.  I totally get it. It's how I feel every single day. I feel your pain."

She cried, "Maxy won't let goooooo!" And she, too thrashed and screamed an banged her head until there was only one pigtail remaining intact. The other one a casualty of her tantrum.  (RIP pigtail)

And he screamed, " Lula is ruining EVERYTHING!!!! YOU'RE GETTING ON MY BAD SIDE AND YOU WON'T LIKE ME ON MY BAD SIDE BECAUSE I'M TOUGHER AND AH;A;KHDJNCNUEWIUHKEJBA.B VNEKWUEROIQPERU..."

 And I screamed, "YOU'RE NOT SHARING AND YOU LOOK LIKE YOU NEED A HUG!!!"

 " I DOOOOOOOOOO!"  And so we hugged and I explained that Lula didn't care about the kitchen, she just wanted to play with him. Maybe if he played with something that he didn't care if she messed up, everyone would be happy.  And they did.  And we were. 

Stick a fork in me.  I'm done.

"This is the worst day ever" I  said out loud to no one in particular whit my heart heavy and my soul crushed.

And then they fell asleep.

Then you know what happened after that?

Today did. miraculous how that happens, huh?