Breather

It's been a full year since my last blog post.  365 days.  Kevin asked me why I stopped blogging and I had to stop to think about it. "I don't know. I don't have much to say, I guess."  And he laughed and laughed and laughed because...when do I EVER  have nothing to say??

 "I'm busy!!! Like,...raising our children, homeschooling, working and I don't know....LIVING OUR LIFE!!  I'm BUSY!"

He stared at me blankly with a slow blink and said very matter of factly...."Everyone is busy." 

I rolled my eyes but he was right. (shhhhh. don't tell him I said so) Everyone IS  busy. We are all very busy. Who cares? There is no trophy for being the most busy.

Why do we, as a culture, and especially moms, think there is extra value in being busy?  I have totally fallen into the busy illusion.  I feel very fortunate to be able to homeschool and work from home, but I worry that other people think that we are just bopping through our day with no real direction or schedule and it makes me feel like I have to justify our rhythm. As I type that, I realize how silly that is.  We, as a family, chose our rhythm. It was very deliberate.   It works for us. I'm very careful to not over schedule my kids. We have a routine, but it's balanced with downtime. And yet, when I'm trying to get them in the car I can't help but get completely frazzled and growl at them through clenched teeth, "PLEASE sit in your seat. " " BUCKLE UP please"  " We HAVE  to GO.  NOW! please" 

We have time for a pajama day. Or to lay on the floor and cuddle your baby.

 

 

And we can take a break from Legos to watch a cool video.

We can just BE for a minute.

 

 

But really...we can get to the library 15 minutes from now and it will be fine. And the museum can wait until we have crunched the snow under our boots for a second.  If we get home for lunch later than I thought...it's going to be ok. I can drive around the block so they can listen to that song they are giggling and dancing to.  Breathe. We're not actually that busy. We have time. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy those kids.

I've fallen out of sync with my life and I'm glad Kevin pointed it out.  Stop. Slow down. Be in the moment a little more. Don't rush them...They're just little. They need some time to take it all in. I need time to watch them take it all in. We need time to giggle together. I need to LISTEN. 
So that's what I'm going to do.  I'm going to bring it all back into focus and take a few minutes to do the things I had convinced myself I was too busy for.  I'm going to cut myself some slack...and my kids too. they deserve it, and you know what? So do I .

First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes