Berry Oat Bars

This winter has been impossibly long and my kids are BONKERS. Max swallowed a quarter the other day  and I'm watching him like a hawk around the clock and Lula refuses to sleep because it's so much more fun to shriek and demand to speak to Dora in the middle of the night...All night. So I'm operating on very little sleep/massive amounts of frustration. Anyway, FOOD! Food is the best!

 We have a playdate today and I like to bake a treat for the little monkeys, but refined sugar is out of the question.  I mean...a girl can only handle so much crazy in her life, and I'm at capacity.

Berry Oat Bars

1 1/2 C oat flour ( I just grind up the organic oats in a Cuisinart)
1 1/2 C organic oats
1 C Brown sugar
 Cinnamon to taste
pinch of salt
1/2 tsp. Baking Soda
1/2 C Coconut Oil
1/4 C Apple Juice

Press 3/4 of the mixture into a 9x13 pan

Cover the top with frozen organic berries  ( I don't even thaw these bad boys)

Sprinkle the remaining oat mixture on top

Bake at  325 for 35 minutes. 

Woot!!!!  These are awesome and healthy and make the house smell AMAZING.

Freakin Out

We've been going through a stage in my house.  I don't want to name names....but a certain BOY is having some very big feelings as of late. Feelings and opinions he feels with every single fiber of his being.

My rational mind knows that this is completely age appropriate and normal. It would actually be concerning if he weren't forming his own (very strong) opinions and screaming them in a rage directly at my face. All day. I totally get this and I feel terrible for him. It's not fun to be upset, and he's clearly upset. Clearly. Upset.

 But that being said....patience is a finite resource and there are times that I lose my patience.   Sometimes (hypothetically speaking)  this happens in public (on the regular) and I can feel the judging eyes of other parents on me, burning holes in to the back of my head.  I want to turn on my heels and tell them to F*ck off, but I'm with my children and probably around a ton of other peoples kids and punching a stranger in the throat won't stop my kid from demonstrating the behavior that brought me to this place to begin with.

 So I  do what many parents do during a very epic public meltdown. I smile and apologize and sweat profusely through my clothes while trying to scurry my kids to a calmer and quieter place while they are screaming "NO!" to every. Single. Everything.  But oh wow, the looks. The looks and the shame and the tears that inevitably come though you're smiling because, what else is there to do? We find a place where we can just sit for a minute and hug, because chances are...that's what he needs.  A hug.  Then, when he's calm we solve his problem because "There is NO problem we can't solve if we work together"

A few nights ago Max worked very hard to organize his play kitchen. And all Lula wanted to do was play with everything he touched. It was sweet. She just wanted to be with and play with her brother.  I thought his head was going to explode because, " I WORKED SO HARD TO ORGANIZE AND CLEAN!!!!!!!!!!!"  And he trashed and screamed.

 "Oh emm geee, little man.  I totally get it. It's how I feel every single day. I feel your pain."

She cried, "Maxy won't let goooooo!" And she, too thrashed and screamed an banged her head until there was only one pigtail remaining intact. The other one a casualty of her tantrum.  (RIP pigtail)

And he screamed, " Lula is ruining EVERYTHING!!!! YOU'RE GETTING ON MY BAD SIDE AND YOU WON'T LIKE ME ON MY BAD SIDE BECAUSE I'M TOUGHER AND AH;A;KHDJNCNUEWIUHKEJBA.B VNEKWUEROIQPERU..."

 And I screamed, "YOU'RE NOT SHARING AND YOU LOOK LIKE YOU NEED A HUG!!!"

 " I DOOOOOOOOOO!"  And so we hugged and I explained that Lula didn't care about the kitchen, she just wanted to play with him. Maybe if he played with something that he didn't care if she messed up, everyone would be happy.  And they did.  And we were. 

Stick a fork in me.  I'm done.

"This is the worst day ever" I  said out loud to no one in particular whit my heart heavy and my soul crushed.

And then they fell asleep.

Then you know what happened after that?

Today did. miraculous how that happens, huh?

Breather

It's been a full year since my last blog post.  365 days.  Kevin asked me why I stopped blogging and I had to stop to think about it. "I don't know. I don't have much to say, I guess."  And he laughed and laughed and laughed because...when do I EVER  have nothing to say??

 "I'm busy!!! Like,...raising our children, homeschooling, working and I don't know....LIVING OUR LIFE!!  I'm BUSY!"

He stared at me blankly with a slow blink and said very matter of factly...."Everyone is busy." 

I rolled my eyes but he was right. (shhhhh. don't tell him I said so) Everyone IS  busy. We are all very busy. Who cares? There is no trophy for being the most busy.

Why do we, as a culture, and especially moms, think there is extra value in being busy?  I have totally fallen into the busy illusion.  I feel very fortunate to be able to homeschool and work from home, but I worry that other people think that we are just bopping through our day with no real direction or schedule and it makes me feel like I have to justify our rhythm. As I type that, I realize how silly that is.  We, as a family, chose our rhythm. It was very deliberate.   It works for us. I'm very careful to not over schedule my kids. We have a routine, but it's balanced with downtime. And yet, when I'm trying to get them in the car I can't help but get completely frazzled and growl at them through clenched teeth, "PLEASE sit in your seat. " " BUCKLE UP please"  " We HAVE  to GO.  NOW! please" 

We have time for a pajama day. Or to lay on the floor and cuddle your baby.

 

 

And we can take a break from Legos to watch a cool video.

We can just BE for a minute.

 

 

But really...we can get to the library 15 minutes from now and it will be fine. And the museum can wait until we have crunched the snow under our boots for a second.  If we get home for lunch later than I thought...it's going to be ok. I can drive around the block so they can listen to that song they are giggling and dancing to.  Breathe. We're not actually that busy. We have time. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy those kids.

I've fallen out of sync with my life and I'm glad Kevin pointed it out.  Stop. Slow down. Be in the moment a little more. Don't rush them...They're just little. They need some time to take it all in. I need time to watch them take it all in. We need time to giggle together. I need to LISTEN. 
So that's what I'm going to do.  I'm going to bring it all back into focus and take a few minutes to do the things I had convinced myself I was too busy for.  I'm going to cut myself some slack...and my kids too. they deserve it, and you know what? So do I .

First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes

The beautiful delusion.

I read an  article  in The Huffington Post yesterday about this photo shoot of "real" women and what "real women" look like naked. In all honesty, the photos were Eeeh.  I wasn't really impressed either way and I thought compositionally they were boring.  These were volunteers, not models. They were regular ladies, not super glammed up. Whatever.

I thought the comments were the most interesting thing about the article and photos.  People were outraged that they were forced to look at these images of women who did not look like airbrushed Victoria's Secret models.  How dare they call these women "Real Women." Women who were smaller and more in shape than the models were outraged at the suggestion that these "obese" models were being called more "Real" than the size 2 commenter. Men were offended and expressed their distaste for the bigger girls and made it clear that they would not be interested in dating the models. (umm, I'm pretty sure the models are okay with that) Some people felt that "un-fit" is
"un-healthy" and therefore NOT attractive. Some people thought the photos were beautiful and natural. Most were not cool with it. Most were angry. Angry at the models for not being perfect.

Oy to the Vey, people!

Let's step back for a minute.   I have so many thoughts about this. The question isn't just what are we teaching our daughters about body image and self esteem, but also, what are we teaching our sons?  By bombarding them with a very narrow interpretation of what beauty is, are we sabotaging their expectation of what the average woman looks like? 
Everyone has their personal preference of what they find attractive in a partner, obviously. But what if that partner changes a bit? What if their body changes through the child bearing years? What if your partner decided to get tattooed? What if they begin to get crows feet and laugh lines? What if your partner needs a mastectomy or another surgery that left them with scars? Can we still think them beautiful? 
I don't think beauty means perfection. I don't think beauty should mean perfection. It's an impossible standard to live up to. 
I don't think beauty means option A or option B. Can't more than one thing be beautiful?
Also.... Can we stop thinking about our appearance SO SO MUCH and just live our lives? I think it's extremely important to be healthy, for sure, and I think that is an excellent thing to teach our children, to love yourself enough to take care of yourself. To eat foods that are healthy for your body. To exercise your body and keep it moving. I'm just not comfortable with the constant focus on the physical. Or the insinuation that your self worth should be in direct relation to how attractive the masses think you are.

beautiful.

 

 

Also beautiful. 

This is coming from a sort of vain girl. I would never leave the house without my hair and makeup done. I wouldn't think of going out in anything resembling sweatpants or pajama pants. I exercise and try to be strong and fit. That being said, I don't want to be weighed down (no pun intended) by worrying what other people are going to think of my appearance. I especially don't want people being angry at me for not being perfect. I don't want to be angry at myself for not being perfect.

What the hell, people??!!

We are so busy hating our bodies and our selves that we are teaching our daughters to do the same thing. Even if we tell them they are beautiful, they hear US tell ourselves we are SO NOT.  We are teaching our sons that women are never beautiful enough. Or worse yet, that it's a women's JOB or duty or whatever to strive for physical perfection.
 
I know this is an age old discussion, but what I get out of it is that I need to be kinder to myself so I can set a healthy standard for my children. If they have any chance at having a normal relationship with themselves or a partner, I have to set a good example for them. It somehow feels easier and more natural to love myself if I'm doing it for them. Crazy, huh??

A day of Luuuurve.

We've been MIA lately because everyone has been sick. I mean....siiiick. We've pretty much quarantined ourselves and are ready to socialize again.  Please, spring....come quickly!!! 

Hello? Spring? Are you out there?

So with our lack of human contact, Max was especially excited about Valentine's Day.  He loved the thought of a day dedicated to showing people that you care about them.  I told him to think about who he wants to send a valentine to and we would come up with a plan. There was no time for that.  Max had a plan of his own.  We would make special heart shaped cookies and decorate them with pink frosting and white writing on them.  there would be NO deviating from this plan.  When you're four....you don't wing it. You stick to the plan! Or else.


Amazing Sugar Cookies

2 1/4 c. flour
1/4 tsp salt
1 c sugar
3/4 c butter
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
2 tsp almond extract

combine sugar, egg, butter, vanilla and almond in mixer

add flour and salt

form dough into a ball and knead by hand until well blended

roll out and cut shapes.

bake at 350 for about 8 minutes or until bottoms are just browning.

                                                 Throw it in the KitchenAide and mix it all up

                                                      Knead it a bit before you roll it out.

Ready to bake!

  Then we put together his little Spider man Valentines and got ready for playgroup. ( Max volunteers at this awesome playgroup that teaches social skills to wee ones.  brilliant idea)
While he was at playgroup, they made a craft.  Max wanted to make more valentines for ALL his friends. Their plan was to make one, but the kid couldn't stop there. We left there with a pile of valentines to drop off at his friends houses.  My heart was overflowing.  This little monkey spent SO MUCH TIME thinking of other people.  At no point did he ask where HIS valentines were.  He got so much joy out of giving to people he cared about. He gave away every single cookie we made and he never even got one.  He had no regrets.
When Kevin got home from work they cranked out a few more valentines.  The kid was hooked!

                                                                More Valentines!! MORE!              

Our doorbell rang and his friends were standing there to drop off valentines they made for Max and Lula.  I thought he would split in half with excitement.  The boy is in love with love and giving and the magic that happens when you do.  I am a proud mama.

Pizza Party!

The boys had been shoveling and playing in the snow all day.  When they finally came in they were ready for a snack.  I'm still sick and just don't feel like cooking.  You know what that means???
Pizza party!!!

This little monkey loves to shovel! 

 

Planning his attack from the safety of a snow bank.

Dive bomb!!!

I love this recipe because it is so completely basic and needs no prep time. It's stuff I already stock in my cupboard so in a pinch it's a great go to.  I also love that it doesn't need to rise because...really, who has time for that?   I guess what I'm saying is this is the lazy man's pizza recipe.

 * recipe for 1 individual size pizza*

1 package dry yeast
1 tsp sugar
1 c. warm water
2 1/2 c. flour
1 tsp or so salt
2 tsp olive oil

Dissolve yeast and sugar in warm water.
Add flour, salt and oil
Knead, let rest for just a few minutes.

                                                                     roughly mixed

                                                            Kneaded into a nice little ball

Turn dough out on a floured surface and roll it out into a round. (confession...I don't roll it...I just smoosh with my knuckles until it's right.  It's quicker that way.  Also....don't judge me, I told you this was a recipe for the lazy)

                                                                       Smoosh it out

Use whatever toppings make you happy and bake at 450 for about 15 minutes.

My family likes to kick it old school with crushed tomatoes, lots of basil and garlic and Mozzarella cheese.

                                                      "more cheese"  was what I was told

                                                                        Aaaand Done! 
                                                        





Pesto and roasted red peppers with a little bit of mozzarella and a sprinkle of Peccorino Romano cheese is my favorite.


What are your favorite pizza toppings?

Lazy Days

We've been quiet on the blogging front lately because we've all been under the weather.  The kids have had pink eye, which,  gross.  And  I've been fighting off some kind of yucky virus for days.  We're never sick, so when my kids are oozing funk from their eyeballs I tend to ever react and assume they have Ebola. 

That being said, I've been pretty unproductive the past few days.  The kids are watching TV, and too much of it.  There's a lot of whining going on.  Mostly me.   And I don't even remember what I've been cooking.  God bless my family for eating whatever I put in front of them for fear of upsetting me when I'm sick.

but there's a lot of this going on....

                                                                      Legos galore





and this...































                                                                                               I'm sure they're plotting against me





and this......

                                                God help me with this face.  I want to bite it.